SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
