I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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