Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
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He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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