do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
