I'm drive I can fine osifer
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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