you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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