During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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