His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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