Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize