im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
