I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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