Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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