someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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