I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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