It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
