You're so nebulous sometimes
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
