How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
