Christians are straight up FREAKS
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
In America we eat man semen.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
