12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
