I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
