He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
