Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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