i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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