the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
