Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we made out on top of his cat.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
