3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
