We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
