If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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