How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
