11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize