Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
