There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
