things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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