Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
