All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
