ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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