I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
