Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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