you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's never too late to be topless.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
