somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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