..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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