I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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