nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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