Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
