She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You are a genius and a whore.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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