Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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