You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
