I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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