She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize