three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
