Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How does one acquire holy water?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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