Cold hands, warm shart.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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