yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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