I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
