She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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