i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
