And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I AM VODKA MAN
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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