So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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