the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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