we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Boobs are out for the taking
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
