I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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