Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
