i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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