how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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