It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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